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Aldern Hey!

Hey wait, ma! Yes, pal, what do you bite on it so, huh? You look like shit, have you not even stand on what Refreshing? Here guck ma, or horny? Of course this is a! What do you think of birds because of what I sell here? Sweets or what? Of course, scream still louder. GLOW BIR-NE! Do not be here every noticed you sleep on the tree or what? Look ma, ne 100 Osram, Aldern. This goes down so you would not believe. You so you bang the light so the brain, Aldern, then you a little warm and at some point you're really relaxed, is located on the spectrum. Can you spend a long time looking for something, we ham from Vietnam. Alder, which are so hot on it, because the things caught in each hut, Amigo, to heap! The mighty have fun with it, the Teefüße. Previously gabs here at least once more from time to ne 40 E27 on prescription, but the times are over. Yes, simply screw it, that's it. But after pulling back plug! What do you say? Logo, I also Breezer. And Rigo. Smirnoff at the moment, I wait for delivery, Romania, have been difficult. Want to have real? Hey, you're a really cool! Just come with us over when you stand. All good guys, we hang around Sun Everything at the start, and a cool shack ham wa. All totally sick on it. We even have a heating mantle, or cool? And NEN gasoline lawn mower. Logo 2-stroke! If someone gets a point, we all walk so to such an extent my friend ... OK, I must still further, then ciao. And oh, listen, is really dark out there now for the season, so wear safety vest ne. Is better. Good vision benefits, good vision, protects already know.

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monetary benefits.

stand today Rhine in the mail:
"Students will be allowed a say in the teacher salary "

In and of itself a good idea when I was at school, I would like to see the chemistry teacher her. Experimental drugs must be synthetic and the gym teacher to help the girls gymnastics deduct from the salary.

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I was thinking that I have a lot of could make money if I were writing formats for television.
Is not it actually a perfect win-win endeavor. It just really like his grottenschlecht unterschichtig need it most of the population. Much of the rest of it looks well to get upset about animal. And the very last remaining consignments knows at least as guarantees anyone in the circle of either of them says or powerful auskotzt it.

some point I get a TV award (because the consignment containing EVERYONE knows) and if someone is upset over that, publicly guaranteed, I'm so much more talking than I because of the ridiculous Price would be in itself.

So I can only win - let's go. The plot for the first format I've already done is an amazing success, high on the follow-up:

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I have never in life so often get in the face as a teenager, the conditions were indeed very bad.. slight figure, great face, bad area, and a mediocre speak cooked moped As it was, of course the short straw when in sub-council on Heine field space from the local Flory Speed was surrounded. Or in the chip shop stupidly standing around in a corner, where the escape route was easy to block. Because unfortunately there was no other option other than immediate heels, the discussion about the merits of the sister of the gang leaders to end prejudice.

Poor Coffy is now virtually even in the teen-age and shares this fate. Only a cowardly nose bite from a fight Beagle and now he has been attacked even by a lousy Dobersau. His girlfriend also has dogs ready to get something and I hope he has bravely thrown in between. Good Boy.

What a wake up from anesthesia, which has always pitiable ...



... but the day went on it's been recovering well and Uta T-shirt spared it the ruff. Only the neighborhood kids always laugh about the dog in my pajamas. Barrel, Coffy, kill!

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Modern Living.

Erwin is a neighbor of mine. He is about 50 to 70 years and lives alone in a small apartment on the ground floor front building. Life has taken the good Erwin in recent years on a hard ride. Previously he was a pretty good mechanic, but eventually it went off the shit: no job, wife away, and always this terrible thirst! His nonchalant drinking behavior resulted, among other things, that you had to amputate his right hand punch and the half in front of him in exchange for a chic turtleneck the door presented. This handy vehicle he used only in situations in which we all would like to have something like this: The beer crate transport from the market or if he drinks from the bar at night rotzvoll slides home. Erwin has a small terrace on which absolutely nothing is out of a plastic bag Lidl, which has at some point caught between the wooden planks and since then there funny rattling in the wind. The rest of the terrace is a remarkably thick and uniform layer of dust covered - as untouched virgin snow on Mount Kilimanjaro.

Erwin is a genuinely nice and easy going type. Continuously at cruising altitude, in a good mood and stress-resistant. Coffy it can ever not suffer - and drunk driving wheelchair that is too much for the dog. Erwin is the furious barking but damn him and he tried to pet all the time. Alcohol gives you courage and drunks known nothing happened.

If this now sounds in your ears like an idealized image of earthly existence, I would say, that Erwin's life is not entirely free from worries and troubles. The coal, for example, that he receives from social services for electricity and gas paid, the thirsty, unfortunately, early retirees invest fully into liquid fuels and consequently experienced very early in the evening the nuclear winter in the living room. Technically gifted, but Erwin has the solution to this Problem in the form of a veritable cable drum and the stairwell wall outlet found. Two o'clock, when all (except Uta and me) sleep, the King of Current staggers to the basement stairs and enchanted with a safety plug-click its dark, cold cave into a cozy and warm lights. Every morning at six, when the first enter the stairway, although the changes back into a golden coach profane pumpkin, but then goes, too slowly to the sun and radiates love through Cinderella's blind windows.

Erwin is sometimes a little careless. The other day I was terribly frightened times, I came home at night and when I entered the hall, there was raging at once, such as out of nothing a wild storm of noise, rumbling and bubbling. With a beating heart, I then realized that Erwin was the reel-smuggling in the evening probably too annoying and it was directly plugged in the kettle in the stairwell.

shopkeepers are now angry finger in the air break and point out the facts of the unauthorized misuse of public power, but that's me actually totally a shit as long as the Lord Voltage hut not accidentally sets fire. I have a soft spot for people who have been fucked properly by the fate of bin, plus a generous type, and Erwin'm pretty tired of his solitary candle light at dinner. Rather had I thought about who to take some money for his basic needs of energy on my cap, so to do a good work and to avoid a possible electrical fire. As I said, I had considered. Precisely to the day in the last week when I found my city utility bill for the past year in the mailbox: 1.257 € ARREARS for electricity and gas! ARREARS, AMIGOS! About thirteen hundred eating which I had already paid in advance.

Taking it seriously: The upper floor is never heated and consumers there are only a radio alarm clock. Say, we heat the remaining two will be cooked about 50 square meters, the booth is insulated properly, from the gas bottle, The oven may run twice a month and my hobbies which is really not a replica of the famous particle centrifuges with which I leave for fun in the cellar craft collide protons.

About the shameless greed of the utilities and the collective shrug of all political groups, I would like but do not miss here. Rather, I would say at this point: Erwin, you visionary luster terminal jockey, YOU are EL FUTURO! You are living the "Style of Tomorrow." Electricity is stolen, fuel is pumped and heated private will all burner stove with chopped bus stop shelters. And for that I do not blow the whistle, explain you give me sometime soon, how do you get your cool clothes full Checker.

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The dog is still alive!



Zack! Just saw that my last post is 3,5 months ago. Come to me than before as 14 weeks. As long as it took me until my day again, more or less goes as usual. To specify it: I do not have middle of the night with wet towels on the floor and make rumwedeln must no longer a cold start at 5.30 clock in the bed. Say, Coffy is house trained! FUCKING HELL, YEAH! FUCK ON THE WALL! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!

Last weekend I was even riding a motorcycle again. Material for the next blog entry - guaranteed pet free!

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TAP

What are the weapons of a dog? His menacing, deep growl? His loud bark with raised lips? The force with which he put at full speed a man to the ground, can be tipped his sharp claws and long fangs catches, he can hit with several tonnes of bite force in soft flesh?

All terrible things are added. But what makes a young dog when voice and weight are not really threatening, and the milk teeth while pointed, but just have the clout of a toothpick have? What does he do if he still wants to load times really?

To that end, Mother Nature provided the puppy with TAP . TAP is Tactical Assault Pissing and is a terrible weapon of destruction. TAP has a bio-chemical means of urea. The normal amount of urine of a puppy is quite considerable, the resulting damage is manageable. While the puppy is already serving a strategic techniques to multiply the impact of its discharge. For example, he strullt to favorite shoes, a jacket or accidentally dropped on the seat of a sofa, but even that has no lethal effect. If the enemy have become accustomed even to these isolated attacks against armed with chemical and Verteidungswaffen, comes into play TAP. You have to think of it as a New Year's cannon shot, which, while loud bursts and frightened people, a truly devastating effect unfolds but only in the mailbox of a neighbor or standing around in a full garbage can.

The puppy thus attempts to bring his bladder to the maximum possible level, looking at dawn with its loaded Sprengpimmel a strategically important place - a bridgehead, such as the spiral staircase of a duplex apartment with underlying wardrobe - is in Combat position ducks and take full by. The really small amount of urine looks for the moment to go through the steps, flowing down the wall, dripping on the vacuum cleaner, sprayed from there to the surrounding shopping bags runs on a clothes hook and contaminates from there thoroughly all the jackets, coats, scarves and caps. rages

And even as the destructive power of his kidneys in the textiles, the moves of the terrorist puppy relieved and happy again in his own place to sleep, curls up snug, looks forward to when master at dawn horrified and wailing among his victims and dreams of the victory of the creature to the people a step closer came to be.

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The dog school.

My Coffy it will have better times than me. Therefore, I visit with him every Saturday morning, a dog school. The dog is not a fault of graphic servant like his master, but a little social skills he makes life easier to determine - and mine too. And even if the little one is not thrown the gym bag in the next tree crown, but he gets exactly what's on the face as we used to. And that has not hurt us. Point. As far as the parallels.

The site of the dog school is secured against escape attempts on the road as the former East Zone and Guantanamo together: security guards, high fences, lattice, no man's land, kill zone. Very reassuring. What did not make the East Germans and Osama, creates no Cocker Spaniel.

the first appointment, I did not realize yet that much. The course will begin at 10 clock, which is not bad because I have to anyway because of the Mutt at 7 at the door, but my body gives me only enough heat protection after five zipping and three large cups of coffee. Since this target was not reached yet, so I occupied myself mainly to freeze my ass on the damp, drafty area, rather than listening to the coach. The dog, meanwhile, had fun animal to be driven by all the older dogs present at full speed and to bounce back effort. The

Dog Whisperer said optically characterized by the fact that physically he really was not available. His skinny little legs stuck in huge boots like two daisy stems in a vase. The rest of the baggy clothing was completely from Jack Wolfskin, probably to impress his dog with the paw logo. His little face was wrinkled like a prune-furrows and he had pulled the wool hat, almost to the tip of the nose, thought to arise with regard to his hairline did not leave. The heavy leather leash, which he had hung around his neck, drew him into a slightly stooped posture. Under the Jacket are signs of a huge belt case, in which he about 5 pounds of pet food stored in the form of tiny treats that he continually and his dog stuffed into the mouth without being asked.

The most striking thing about the coach but his unpleasant penetrating voice. His "Travis, Hiiiiiiiiiiieer!" Ring penetrates probably thicker walls than Superman's X-ray vision and for his four-legged friend probably heard, if he got lost when going for a walk sometimes up to Cologne.

The Shepherd Travis, however, is my ideal of a docile and character, strong dog, so I was damn near as good cheer. dogs seem completely uncritical about the appearance of their master to be.

When second appointment was then not quite so cold and I had the opportunity to look in the dog-lovers gathered times. The majority were shy and apathetic about standing couples, the half chewed furniture and shoes and been digested and was secretly hoping that the curriculum a section on psychotropic drugs in veterinary medicine or permitted use of firearms for dog owners found.

were over-represented in terms of numbers and the descent emancipated, which have all read the book "The Wolf Woman" and was disappointed in the archaic practice of their dormant assets to the alpha females are pretty. These shortcomings in terms of similarity to Wolf was probably offset the main reason of their presence. Given its grisly forms, and the frightening gray clothes I would have liked as a wolf howled. The worst were the silly, multi-functional scarves that she had pulled over the head and the pointy ends to the back of her head rumbaumelten like umbilical cords. Of course, they were significantly bespectacled like once the tale disguised as a grandmother Wolf and babbles away while some nonsense in the round, so I spontaneously acquired a sense of understanding for all the wrongdoing of their dog, no matter what they should have done.

was of course - as always on such courses - the piggy-clever-nerd fraction at the start. The second day of the course had not yet begun when the first asshole that had naturally placed almost shoulder to shoulder next to the upper male, already losquatschte: "Will you look at it? . We have been practicing works, excellent, "And without waiting for an answer, he began shouting:" Paulaaa!. Nix. "Paaaauuuulaaaaa" Paula sniffed at a pile of shit. "Pauuuullaaaa, hiiiiiier!" Paula sniffed at the After a Jack Russell dog. After another, hoarse "Paaaauuuuullaaa, you've come back here! Hieeer! Go! Paula away quickly by the roar away behind a grassy hill, they probably could sniff out clearly undisturbed .. Unfortunately, this was

smooth six of the teacher's not commented and there was no entry in the class book, but I must say that I was going to school for the first time in life was real fun. I've decided not to play truant in exceptional cases. To be continued, there are still a few days to Coffy course is as smart as Commissioner Rex.

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The radio station Eins Live (the profit center of the oligarchs WDR broadcasting authority) has declared a remix contest. Smarter way is the musical based on one of bekacktesten hit by one of the world's worst duet: "Strong" by Ich + Ich, or - as I always say - the thickness and the old woman. Smart because you can not just ruin it.

principle is something quite funny - I would immediately FunPunk a jaunty number tinker it, this "Huhuhuu" lends itself to precisely to tragedy is the price of the competition winners. A full day with I + I and a concert with backstage card! Who does to something? That's more of a punishment, I would rather have a day with Uschi Glas and Roland Koch spend. And then attend the reading of the women's group of local AIDS assistance.

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Coffy Mate.

Coffy I wanted for a long time to bring a cuddly toy, something needs a puppy. But did not find one that was not ugly either cave or seriously looked like spontaneous combustion. Fortunately, Uta found one and brought the awards to this wild animal (that Coffy) fits:



Sigmund he finds really great, but he pulls his pants constantly from. What does this mean, I do not know.

And - big he has become what? Growing like mad. I soon put him in chains to the front door, harhar:

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Mi Casa, unfortunately, to Casa.

Some people find amusement and comfort surrounded by her family, in sports or fishing club, the local swinger club or at the Osho-house. For me and for some others of this Shangri-La, the bar Minol was in port. Go

Anytime, day or night in this small shop and either drink coffee, beer or tequila, dancing on the bar or just Saturday afternoon at Table 8 on feasibility and fun factor of sexual practices or Coitability the past heeled discuss your media worm. There was always someone with whom you could talk to and the staff was always more familiar than one's own sister. The Minol was in fact at the same time a psychological emergency, shelter, Dr. Sommer, employment office, counseling field office and living eV

Since last Saturday, suffering is past, and our loser-Stammtisch is necessary to find a new home - the Minol has after 10 years to make. Expired leases, lousy summer and imminent smoking ban. The usual words.

was to leave it again a big feast in the old manner and who has not at some point that night to get the blues has got him no later than the next day at the sight of masked slices. Bye-bye, living room. Bye, table 8 Was a fun time. Here again are the last sign of life from the final Saturday.


The Minol bar dance floor:




Poor Bitschi. just moved back to DD, found favorite bar, deeply depressed.




DJ Britt. Best of pit stop.




crap. Such parties, we can not pull it through in future Mannis Pilsstübchen!








Sven was able to hold on for the last time on the road sign. And angry shake it.




Uta had to work that evening and was aware of this as the first tragedy. All the others were too full.

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long way.

shorten my radius just slightly. S wanted to Minol in the harbor? Sure, I'm in 5 minutes - then no problem with the bike now need a little more waiting time if I'm out and not just by car. The dog is indeed well on the leash, but there is sooo much to discover terrific. To almost every tree on every corner. Other dogs, children, cyclists and walker-Omis is behind geglotzt until they disappear in the distance. And, at least in the latter case, take some time.

all natural for a curious puppy, discovers the world. But the biggest limiting factor I had not even on the schedule: The sausage skin is indeed from the Canary Islands and freezes in the morning and evening real ass off. Because sometimes nothing helps, except for gradual adaptation.

him for evil can not be. Especially when he sits shivering on the sidewalk and watch a sooo:

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update.

have recently I met someone in town who asked me in astonishment, what I would do in God's name here - but I had finally bitten the dust and according to organic standards can not even stand upright without assistance. It's time for some sign of life.

Actually everything is different has not done much since January. Nevertheless - here are the events of recent weeks (in chronological order):

first I have found someone with whom I will spend the rest of my miserable life (I've written it?). The lower because the image is not left to this is just the old Flappmann gate, but I love all also.





second The first official "VEB Plastering & Plate Party" in Minol was a mega-success, it was so full, like it was long in the Bums and the guests were, and have launched damned good too, gate and I had great fun in the end -.. But we were Admittedly, the very worst, because we were rotzvoll now and read the album title could not. The last bite just the dogs.




third I had a crappy disc herniation, and I had probably for some time, only that he is now about my sciatic nerve had hergemacht. Dental pain in the ass and the legs are really not funny and that makes a mighty rotten. The Auflegerei Arcari in me the cursed dirty cartilage also: After I had been through with Jörn still the (very funny) Altweiberdonnnerstag with massive ibuprofen addition, on Friday I could not go any longer without softly sobbing. Figuratively speaking, I probably had too much in the last few months (he) and I have to wear too much to bear. Likely to fall because of my track days in March in Cartagena in the water.

But: In the shadows, there's light. On the failed Carnival Sunday I'm making music instead of the Arcari, laying Uta Eating in a nearby pub hobbled, which I would otherwise never set foot. At the toilet door was hanging a poster that a foster family would leave two mongrel puppies. I am one of them I immediately flash and while I love me just writing down the phone number, the type with just the little bastard through the door. Long story short:

4th I now have a dog.
I've wanted for ages again have a dog, but that was until now for various reasons. The animal should have the following conditions: a) initiating a Stragami (street mix his grave), b) in size and one male, c) a cunning character Mutt be) d I somehow run, so connected as to the highway peg sit or something.

Coffy on takes it all to (meaning that the little dog Coffy - like the cool 70s Blaxpoitation film - was already laid for years). Coffy is a Bardino mixture (probably including Shepherd) was about 4 months old and brought his brother with the help of an animal from the Canary Islands, the rest of the litter was abgemurkst. He is a cool little bastard with a thick head that surpasses what I've seen so far. During his 23 hours a day is a lovable, docile little puppy, he attempted in the remaining hours now to impose its dominance. In this harsh lesson we fighten also little things by all means to the dominance - and that's no fun with such a wild child home.







He is not housebroken, my life changed rhythm momentarily serious. I'm so early as never before in the company, but at the same time go to bed. However, relatively sober. Fortunately, Coffy is extremely resistant to excess - he is both in the city crowds, in the crowded market, or even with caps birthday party on Friday totally relaxed. He has in just 5 days already "sit", "Come," "Off", Down, dog place "and going for a walk learned what we" say. "Coffy to go No!" He understood for some time, but followed it only occasionally violent protest, the little punk. He understood that begging, sofa and bed are taboo. Uta, which can handle super dogs, he has fully accepted as a beta male. Driving a car he loves totally and immediately dozed off in his box, from the bike cage is, however, he jumped out the first attempt, has rolled off and totally dusty and somewhat confused aufgerappelt things out. Let us alone to practice just 15 minutes have been no problem. ignored at the dog park his peers, and tried to pee with the big dogs then sometimes show him where the frog has the curls. Damage can not, anyway.

me it makes any event, great fun with my new companion. And I've also learned to screw my claims on him a little run down and not to expect the miracle dog. Strange as it also sounds and it may seem strange that suddenly my luck and bed rest depends on that a little stray dog succeeded by his digestive residues: It gives an extremely full and satisfied feeling when such an animal trust holds and affection developed. May be an end in itself, but somehow not. And I will do my best here in the blog not to divulge too much Pet Content. I can promise not do that. Oh yes, I will still not have children, forget it, this steak is breaded.

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New Year's barn.

Early New Year's Eve I've seen the New Year's address to our Federal pulpit woman on television. However, without sound, because I at the same time the Dead Kennedys on the turntable and had not wanted to interrupt.

boy, boy. That was perhaps obliquely, what an expression, what a performance: I had really felt that I wanted to share what Caramel Mist State of the Union. Or that now with "mosaic" of the eagle in the studio background have hung.

But is indeed care, I know eh, what the said: everything is forbidden, criminals should be ashamed of what globalization is really awsome and the people are to remain silent and stupid and look at a lot of funny TV shows that can be tapped without resistance and hold down the muzzle.

I'll start times with the rallying calls - all a wonderful, healthy new year!